Ignorance is not bliss

One night a couple weeks ago I was having a really hard time getting to sleep because I was in so much pain. It was making me super stressed out and upset, so I called my sissy-poo for some support. I cried to her on the phone about how all this surgery stuff is so overwhelming and that I just didn't know where to start. She offered to help me put together a surgery "To Do" list. She made a Google document and e-mailed it to me, and it has actually really helped motivate me to start getting my shit together. I've spent the past couple days making phone calls on my lunch breaks. I talked to the nurse at my surgeon's office and asked her some questions. I found out my in-hospital recovery will only be 3-4 nights, not an entire week, which is a relief. And my out-of-work recovery will be a minimum of 8 weeks. She also had their financial department work up some numbers for me, and I found out that after my insurance I will only be paying a maximum of about $4,800. That is SO much less than I thought it would be! I thought I would owe like $20,000 and be in debt for the rest of my life. I really feel a lot better asking questions and getting answers than I did worrying about it and trying to come up with things on my own. Ignorance is not bliss. I have been in a ton of pain lately, to the point where I now need to take TylenolPM just to fall asleep at night. I don't want to put this surgery off any longer than I need to. I think want to get it done and over with soon. Fuck waiting until September, and fuck being in pain all the time. If I'm going to be in pain, I might as well be healing and not just sitting here getting worse, right?

Bent but not broken,

Robin